Yesterday, I had the privilege of being able to attend another study. This time in a nice location outside London. I learnt much and I was impressed by all the speakers and the work they had produced. I was inspired and I hope to improve my working practice as a result of this. I have also earned 5 CPD points and now have a presentation to write before Monday.
I also learnt that I am still vulnerable to those awkward social situations. I did not know many people at the meeting and over the years I have come to the conclusion that its much better to attend meetings where everybody is a stranger because you can never be disappointed and you can only make new acquaintances. So imagine my disappointment when I met two colleagues I have worked with in the past who could barely acknowledge my presence, one of whom turned their back on me. The other person i practically had to dance in front of to get their attention. In retrospect the fact that I made the effort to go and speak to them and not the other way round, speaks volumes. Not very nice and I was trying to be nice and social. I cannot think what I had done to deserve that – I am a fairly innocuous character. I did wonder if that was the problem really. In the profession that in work in, people can be quite competitive and aggressive and maybe do not tolerate wallflowers too well. Perhaps I need to raise my game.
It once again reminded me of playground politics being played out in the adult world. I should have learnt the rules by now. I realised that I am still a fundamentally shy person and generally prefer to fade into the background…unless I have something to say and then I am annoyed when I cannot get my way!
What will I do? Who knows? Unleash the more confident and amazing me?
Where is she?
I am still looking…