Anybody who knows me well – knows that I avoid conflict like the plague.
Not that there is no conflict in my life, there is plenty – internal and external.
However – just do not like upsetting people when I deal with it.
I also try not to enter battles that I know I cannot win – seems like a waste of energy and effort.
I guess I am the type of person that will let the other person have their say, and politely disagree. What happens to conflict resolution? Depends – if I want my way – and I really want it – then to some extend I will get it. If I do not really want something that much and it seems that there are bigger things at stake -I guess I am the type of person that compromises. In truth – compromise is what I seem to do most and best. It does not an easier life make. Sometimes I feel like I have lost a bit of my soul that I will never retrieve. How do people learn these skills of perfect conflict resolution? Experience – learnt and passed on from others.
Sometimes I have found that people can be stubborn – stubborn as a goat and just will not move. Compromise is not possible and you just have to walk away.
I too can be stubborn – stubborn as a goat. When things are really really important to me – I do not budge an inch. So we reach an impasse.
I am thinking of a current situation in my life. I could back down. I could make a U-turn, I could make reverse my decision. But somehow I cannot. I cannot break fundamental principles that govern my personal existence. Which person would I be if that was the case. It is a shame that the other person feels exactly the same way. It must be genetic!
So what do I do? I have not made a compromise but I have decided that whatever happens I will try and be a good person. I will do what I need to do, I will be as dutiful as the situation allows. I will try and do the right thing. I will try. It is not and never will be easy. I guess people get hurt along the way. But I too hurt , I too have feeling and if nobody else is going to acknowledge that, then I need to do that too.
I am Christian, I guess I should be praying and leaving for the Lord/at the foot of the cross. And this I do on a daily basis. Can I see any results? Who knows. Are the answers forthcoming? If they are – I cannot hear them right now.
In days past – prayer worked so well – despite the storm around me – I was calm. Now – not so much. Maybe I have moved too far away from God and His ways to hear, listen and act. Maybe I have to solve this myself. Maybe I should not be waiting for ‘somebody else’ to sort it out. Maybe God is doing that whole refining fire thing. Who knows? Time will tell.
James 1 : 2 – 4
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.