I am sure that there is a point to some forms of fear. I am sure that fear can protect one from doing stupid things, especially if one’s common sense has gone AWOL. I guess the problem is when fear becomes irrational and stops one leading the life that one deserves (whatever that might be).
Do I have irrational fears?
I don’t like spiders…
I once stayed in the living room in my parents house, all night because I had seen a spider on the stairs and I was too scared to walk past it. I guess that was just silly.
I don’t like the rides at amusement parks.
When I was 10 I went to Woburn Wild Animal Kingdom (I think now it is called Woburn Safari Park) on a school trip. It was great but it was the first time I went on such a thing – I think it was the rainbow ride. I felt so sick on it and for some reason very very frightened. And so when I went to another amusement park on another school I sat on the Mary Rose ride waiting for it to start and my fears came flooding back. I sat contemplating the sick feeling I would soon be experiencing and it all got to much for me. Just as the supervisor was closing the gate I started shouting that I wanted to get off. Embarassing. However I managed to overcome some fears of amusement park rides and I would always go on the log flumes. I was still fearful – at the bits that plunged downwards and I would always at the point tell myself “there is no turning back now – it’s inevitable!” and of course I survived.
I didn’t like flying – that was huge fear of mine but I seem to have overcome it somewhat.
But those are all silly childhood fears
Now the current fears are on the one hand candy floss and nebulous but on the other hand hard and real. I won’t list them here – there’s not much enough time in the world. I know that it stops me, hinders me. I know that I need to step out of my comfort zone.
Maybe this has something to do with faith. Maybe if I had more faith I would be braver and bolder. All the people of faith that I know, or used to know, always seemed to be fearless. “We are not worried – God is in control” seemed to be the constant mantra. There was a very brief time in my life when I too was like that. I am working on getting back to that state.
But if I lived without those fears I would…
I would book my flight to Havana, take my camera and my flip flops and go.
I would be off to Morocco and Egypt
I would go to Nigeria the home of my parents and live for a month or two in Lagos and Ile Ife
I would travel to Norway and Sweden. I want to see the Fjords!
Just be me
I would not worry about what anybody else though of me. I would not try and please people who can never be pleased. I would not worry about things that cannot be changed or situations that I have no control over. I would be bolder and braver and stand up for myself, for me and mine. I would discard the trivial and unimportant.
Would my life be better – of course!