Open doors

Day 2 – back at work.

Not quite so upbeat today.

The enormity of it all, suddenly hit me like a train, when I was lying in bed this morning. It rendered me motionless and silent for many hours, stopping me from responding to  my internal alarm clock. It did not help that I had a pounding headache which made me feel as though my head was full of leaden weights and I could not lift it from the pillow. I think it was all that talking yesterday.  I guess all that talking to other people outside of what has been a relatively close knit circle for the past two weeks has confirmed that, yes, this is real.  This is happening. This is not a bad dream from which I will awake. This is not going to go away.

However there  is always encouragement though.  My Aunt sent this little message to my phone:

Open doors



And so dragged myself out of bed and made it into work, because that is what one does.

I  corrected my letters, I  sifted through my post. I met with my amazing manager again, who wanted to ensure I was OK and wanted to find out if there was anything else she and the rest of the team could do to support me.

In the afternoon, one of the clinical psychologists brought me a Christmas present from the family from yesterday. It lifted my spirits somewhat.

My first Christmas present


At four o’clock I took myself away for a very late lunch at Cafe Nero again. This time I was not averse to truckloads of cream on my hot chocolate. And during my thirty minute break I continued my stream of telephone inquires and organisations.

Hot chocolate with cream


And so day two is over. Home again for a shower and bed.

One Comment Add yours

  1. Lyttlebug says:

    Thinking of you… XX

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