I cannot believe that it is February 2015 already. Time is flying fast and I myself do not know where I am headed.
This morning I woke up tired again and my first thought – I NEED A HOLIDAY. Admittedly today it was my fault that I was so tired – I stayed up late to watch ‘The Matrix’ with my partner. I have never seen this film before and we decided that I should just get on and watch it. I think I liked the film – I can see why it was impressive at the time.
So this morning I managed to eek out a few more minutes in bed before I pushed away the blankets and made my way to the bathroom. The hot shower did wake me up but I was still sleepy as I drove to work along the North Circular, I had to open the windows and sing along to Crowded House to keep awake.
Why am I so tired?? This year has been non-stop busy with family events and work, with the weekends providing only brief respite. If feels like my brain is constantly on the go but constantly tired and heavy. What I would like is time to myself to cater to me! Selfish perhaps? If I am not at work, then I am home with my partner or at my parents home with my mother. These are all good things and I would not swap them for anything. However I am looking forward to a time when I do not have to complete errands, shop, cook the evening meal, fill out forms, write an urgent report , set up the trainee/student rota – the list goes on. It’s all good but I would like to just stop for a while.
I am tired…
I caught myself falling asleep at the desk this afternoon or at least to external viewer – avidly reading a report tattoed to the inside of my eyelids. So I had to make myself a DIY mocha. It has kept me awake and I powered through my report writing with a new energy but reinforced my belief that I need time out to rest. When will that be?
I have come to the conclusion that I will not have to wait for the opportunity to present itself but I will have to make time. Carve it out for myself with no apologies to anybody else. It is at odds with my non-confrontal personality but my body is protesting big time!
How will I start this?
I’m working on it, watch this space…