This is my mother. She is lovely and I love her. Today is Mother’s Day and it was nice to spend some quality time with my mother – allowing her to be pampered in a way the she deserves. We headed off to a Spa followed by a delicious lunch (no – there are no pictures – I was busy living in the moment!).
I am of course grateful for my mother everyday of the year however it being Mothering Sunday has helped me focus my mind on the wonderful things about my mother, especially at a time when we are needing to support her emotionally. It is not easy but I find remembering and applying the things that she has taught me along the way extremely helpful. It is strange, my father passed away and I have spent many hours, days and weeks, thinking about him and how he has been a big influence in my life and how he has made me the person that I am. However, I wonder if that I have let that overshadow my mother and her influence over me. This is of course considerable – she is half of me.
She very much has my best interests at heart. She wants nothing but the very best for me and my siblings. She understands me – even though she might not agree with me. She is soft and tender hearted in a way that mothers are but also firm and fair when the need arises. She is protective. I cannot pull the wool over her eyes. She is a hard bargainer and I don’t dare to challenge her. She’s sharp and does not suffer fools gladly. And maybe I do not tell her everything – like I used to do in the after school kitchen chats of my childhood – but we share enough to know where each of us is standing.
Recent family events have irrevocably changed the easy-going dynamic we once shared. I have found that I need to partially shelve that semi-mischievous attitude I once had and I need to think about how to be a better daughter to my mother. We are on another journey now, one which we never thought we would face, at least not so early, not so soon. I am learning along the way, everyday. I have not yet read that textbook and if I am honest, I am sailing uncharted waters. I take everything on a daily basis and try and respond to needs, think ahead and be proactive. It’s hard. It’s very hard. I’m not used to this. I am not sure how well I am doing. I am known at home, for being the sibling with the least social grace, the blunt speaker. My sisters seem to be better at being dutiful daughters than I am. This does not make be feel so good as I meant to be the elder and wiser sister.
In my younger years it seemed like family-life was all about my father – meeting his high expectations and trying not to upset him. However I remember that my mother was the balm that soothed any tensions in the house, my mother was the glue holding it all together. So many times my mother was the one to change my stubborn young mind. So many times my mother was the one tell my father to be a little more understanding of me. I guess I did not understand these things at the time but now it very clear.
My mother worked hard to bring us up. She and my father poured everything they had into me and my siblings. When I compare my life at certain stages with my mother’s at the same age, I understand what she has done to give us the lives we now have and how hard she has worked to achieve success in her own life.
My mother is of course, with my father, my inspiration. I wish I could be more like her.