A few weeks I was talking to my husband about when he would return to work the following evening. I sounded dismayed he said he would be arriving home late but his reply to me was “what do you care, you won’t be in anyway”
That really hurt…
But like all comments like this there is an underlying cause/reason/root. I am the first to admit that I am a workaholic. My contracted hours are 9 to 5, 40 hours per week but I often work in excess of those hours arriving at work before 8 in the morning and leaving after 7 in the evening. There is just too much work to do. This does mean that my home life and me can get neglected in the process. I am up before six in the morning and return home at night after nine in the evening. That is not much of an existence.
So I decided that I should make an effort and for three whole days last week, I left work at five o’clock , got home at six thirty and cooked dinner for my husband. We spent the rest of the evening watching TV (catching up on Games of Thrones), talking and just snuggling on the sofa. We even managed to get to bed early – before midnight – which is mostly unheard of in our household. I slowly began to realise the important of quality time together. Not of course that I did not know this already but sometimes I can get consumed by work and other mini dramas and I neglect the really important things. I underestimated the impact my late arrivals had on my husbands sense of what we now consider the marital home. I was not very good at setting boundaries between work and the rest of my life. But in truth my sense of self is very much bound up in my work. Maybe that’s why the lines blur. Anyway my husband is my priority as will be our children when we have them. I guess I need to start setting a new pattern and breaking with the old ways.
I care very much about my husband and our marriage.