I am sitting in Costa Coffee, Enfield, sipping my Earl Grey tea (two brown sugars and milk, thank you) and daintly picking away at my classic mini panettone. I have just spent two hours watching the latest Bridget Jones movie. I was sadly underwhelmed by the whole thing but it was 123 minutes of escapism, so I cannot complain. With nothing in my head, that I care to share, set about watching the people around. It is Sunday and clearly a family day. The family opposite with the new baby, the family with the petulant 4 year old (but how else would he be?), the middle age children laughing at images on the their share iPhone. And as ever, the 64 million dollar question, is do I wish to be in their situations? It does not seem long ago that I would be sitting in the same commercial coffee joints watching seemingly loved up couples and wondering why this area of life was eluding me. However, instead, I am wondering why the ‘chief, barista, who has just told me that the place is closing in 20 minutes, has finely painted eyebrows on her face. I am wondering if when this place closes, I should walk across the carpark, get into my car and drive along the M25. I have nobody to see or no place to go. It is Sunday evening and I should be chillaxing at getting ready for work. Instead I am restless. Maybe it is because I did not go running this morning, I woke with a migraine and a sore throat and I thought it was a warning sign that I should take it easy. So I stayed in bed until after midday and then I felt truly rested. A week of waking up at 6 am has taken its toll and in addition, yesterday morning I drove to Portsmouth and it was quite the most horrendous drive. Have you ever been in that position of driving but your brain is just somewhere else? In my case, apparently sleep mode, my body was in the driving seat, my hands on the wheels and my feet on the pedals but my mind had disconnected. The reconnect happened when my mother started talking to me and I zoned back in. Scary, I could hear my mother praying in the seat beside me, I truly think that that was the only reason, that at the last minute she decided to come with me. I also wonder if perhaps, I was very stressed. I just do not know. Strangely, enough the journey back was uneventful, even thought while in Portsmouth, I was busy non stop, climbing stairs, sorting through papers and things, without out a break. In fact the only time I stopped was to eat a thai chicken Cornish pasty that my mother had bought for me, while I watched 10 minutes of Serena, that had been downloaded on my tablet. Maybe that 10 minute break was all I needed.
I did not get on the M25, to drive nowhere and to see nobody, instead I headed back to Cineworld and bought a ticket for Queen of Katwe. I sit in Starbuck Coffee munching on a packet of (sea) salt and (balsamic) vinegar crisips – absolutely nothing artificial here folks! I note that it is the first time that I have found myself eating for the sake of eating, in a long time, but it will be the last thing I eat today, even if I go home and cook dinner for my husband. I am overwhelmed by the second film. The Queen of Katwe brings me to tears.